Introducing the “Morning Porch Report!” (Pigs Included…)

Written By: Crysta Stephenson

Once upon a time, I dabbled as a radio news reporter. 

Years after that, during my morning work commute from Highland County to Augusta County during my time at the Augusta Military Academy, I’d call my sister on my cell phone and give her a report from the road. 

I always began my reports with call letters from whatever make-believe station I was reporting for that day.

“WSUG,” was Shug Radio. (My sister calls me “Shug,” short for “Sugar Bear.”) That meant it was going to be a story about me.

If I was reporting from “WFAM,” it meant the story was going to be about our family.

Every report from the road had a comedic tone, and we would laugh our heads off – a great way to start the day! More often than not, my sister would respond with a report of her own. Even better, sometimes she would call me with a report!

So, she wasn’t surprised, when I called her from our family’s home in Highland County with a “Morning Porch Report” from “WMDW.”

Yes! That’s WMDW – Meadowdale Road Radio!

Since we enjoy these little shenanigan reports so much, we thought we’d share them with our HighlandCountyVA Blog community, too!

So, here’s our first:

The Inaugural Report

Highland County, Virginia, travel, farm, farming, agriculture, best, small town, pig, pigs, mountains, rural, remote

(Photo by Barbara Barbosa/Pexel.com)

Today, I can report, the farmer across the road (who shall remain nameless) has a herd of pigs running loose on his farm. Said pigs are out of their usual confinement area and roaming in the hay meadow. (All farmers can say they’ve experienced escaped livestock.) While the pigs are out of sight, their escape is evident by the incessant squealing that can be heard from the Farm Across the Road.

Wait! We have more news coming in! 

It seems the dogs are in the pigs! Oh Lord! They are gonna kill the pigs! Barking and howling can be heard from the Farm Across the Road. 

No… Scratch that… The dogs are herding the pigs! Right! That’s it. They are herding the pigs! 

Ok… The pigs are moving nicely in one group toward their gate.

Oh!!!!! One breaks away and heads toward the farmhouse!! We got one pink pig squealing and making for the back porch!! One black dog is hot on that pig’s tail. 

Man, I hope nobody opens that door… They would be in for a shock! Can you imagine being run over by a pig first thing in the morning? That would ruin your life.

Porky made a left turn and is heading back to the herd. Black dog is still on his tail. How can that pig move that fast?!

It seems, now, that all the pigs are secure, and the dogs and farmer are heading back to the house. All is well.

That is THE Morning Porch Report here from WMDW!

Wait! Is that a chainsaw I hear in the distance…? Stay tuned…!

 

About the Author

Editor & Writer | More Posts by This Author

Crysta Stephenson grew up in the Meadowdale and Vanderpool areas of Highland County. She loved it so much that she returned to raise her daughters on the family farm, Glenwood. She received a B.A. in mass communications with a minor in history from Mary Baldwin College. For 13 years, she honed her journalism skills as a staff writer and editor at two small Virginia newspapers. Her second career - also lasting 13 years - focused on managing two small historical museums here in Virginia. These days, she juggles lots of odd jobs including writing and museum assignments that give her time to enjoy life and admire the accomplishments of her daughters, Rebecca and Suzanna, and play with her grandmutts, Alex and Snoopy. She splits her time between her family home in Highland and her apartment in Augusta County.

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